Unkle Munky Pg 107
Sunky would like to make it clear that the Munky’s primitive opinions are not necessarily a reflection of his own… primitive opinions. ---- This week Munky is riding his bike without using the handlebars... Artist - Flobots. Song - Handlebars. *Click here to play... *Videos prone to removal. ---- Bungle's Barely Paralympic News (Beijing) Unkle Munky says -''' Blimey! It's a good job she didn't win a gold! ---- Northern Headlights. Louise from Brimsmore asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I have just returned from my holidays and thought you might appreciate this photograph. Isn't it wonderful? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Louise - Wow. That really is something. Tell me, does it have automatic 'off road' sensors, or is the four by four facility activated by manual means? Louise replies - Oh for god's sake! I was referring to the sky, you thick hairy primate! ---- Who Gives a Luck? Matthew from Salford asks - Dear Unkle Munky, A black cat crossed my path as I left for work this morning. My friend informs me that this is a good omen. Can I still expect good fortune, given that I was unable to brake in time? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Matthew, This is a tricky conundrum and no mistake. I have emailed the British Board of Good Luck on your behalf and will contact you just as soon as I have a reply. In the meantime I would recommend that you only mount your motorbike from a kerbside position, as opposed to the pathway that leads from your home. *''Coco Pop Art by Randy Arsehole.'' ---- Dear Ms. Sickness, Why did you deem it necessary to append my Randy Arsehole portrait to the previous query? ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) replies - Oh. Sorry Munky. I appear to have misread Matthew's query. I now realise that he witnessed a cat crossing his path, as opposed to a pratt.' 'Unkle Munky says -' What the... ---- Elephant Query. Kirsty from Hinckley asks - Dear Unkle Munky, Can elephants swim? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Kirsty, I have contacted the leisure centres in your area and have it on good authority that elephants are definitely not allowed to use the swimming pool facilities. Kirsty replies - Oh for god's sake! I just wanted to know if they are capable of swimming! Forget it, Munky! I'll ask someone with a brain! ---- Bungle's Barely Paralympic News (Closing Ceremony) ---- Homework Corner. Gail from Devon asks - Dear Unkle Munky, As part of my homework assignment I have been posed the following question - "War! What is it good for?" I am truly struggling to answer said question and was wondering if you might be able to help me? 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Gail, Apparently, during world war two, it was very easy to get laid? Something to do with impending death I suspect? ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Oh for god's sake! ---- Phone Home. Andrew from Strood asks - Dear Unkle Munky, I was recently robbed by someone in an E. T. mask. I have reported the incident to the police and was wondering if you might inquire, on my behalf, as to how their investigations are proceeding? Unkle Munky says -''' Dear Andrew, The police have studied the special edition DVD of said film and are more than confident that your assailant will attempt to phone home very soon. Calls made to distant galaxies are very few and far between. With this in mind, your local constabulary feel extremely confident with regards to tracing the whereabouts of said alien. Andrew replies - What the fuc...? ---- A Memo from Ms. Motion Sickness. ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - Dear Unkle Munky, I have received numerous complaints regarding the picture that you insisted on appending to the previous query.'' 'Unkle Munky says -' Dear Ms. Motion Sickness, I agree that any likeness to the original E.T. would appear to have been compromised by the omission of a flashing finger. I do feel, however, that the urgency of this case should be taken into account before casting aspersions upon my valiant efforts to catch this despicable fiend. ''Ms. Motion Sickness replies - I give up.'' ---- Short Paws. A short paws whilst Munky contemplates the plight of a blind bat... ---- ''Ms. Motion Sickness (Munky's assistant) says - But bats are meant to be blind, Munky?'' 'Unkle Munky says -' Just leave it, Mary. I need a little Munky time. ''Ms. Motion Sickness replies - Oh, oh I see. Ahem. It was that E.T. picture wasn't it?''' '''Unkle Munky says -' Might have been... ---- UK Munky Gold Plus One. This week, Starsky is shocked to discover that Butch doesn't moisturise! ---- Next... Previous... Munky's Memos... Return to Munky Menu...